Excuses

I sit down to write finally. I seem to have found every excuse in the box to not write today. There was laundry that needed to be done, children that needed attended to, or a seemingly endless list of other things that needed my attention. I realize though that its not as much ignoring the other things that need my attention as it is me putting off writing. Why do I do this? I love writing, I love the way that words just flow from my heart, to my head, and then onto paper. Why do I dread the process of writing. Then I realize why.

Its because writing requires work. Hard and laborious work. I have to be present in the moment, aware of all that is going on in my life and in the lives around me. My heart needs to stop swirling in chaos and just settle, listen, and then begin processing. On days like today, its easier to pop in a movie, iron bunches of clothes, and stay tuned out.

Tuning myself out has been a task that I have accomplished quite well in the last few weeks. In the process of moving, re-adjusting, and all the newness that has been in life, I have tuned out the needs that I should be allowing God to meet in me. The rhythm of life that I long to have has not been fully established yet, so because of that my struggle with chaos is great. In the middle of that chaotic battle, I find it easier to just tune out to myself and ultimately to God. When in fact this is not only what he has called me to (this time and this place) but he wants to move in me through the process of change. If I am tuning him out, then I am shutting out any form of transformation that wants to enter into my life.

Another Book Review

My love for writing often leads me down library rows with books stacked up to the ceiling, I love the smells of the books and the quietness as I carefully select the book I want to read. It was in a library that I found this treasure of a book by Anne Lamott. I've decided that I want to really grow my skills and love as a writer and found this book to be a great read for that.

Anne Lamott writes of her experience in writing in a witty way, she relates many of her writing experiences to everyday life. I found this to be inspirational. I love writing that captures the essence of life in the most ordinary circumstances. It takes a special person to be that aware of their surroundings and a creator to take these captures and paint them into a piece of writing people are interested to read. Anne Lamott is one of those special people. She writes of this, saying that "writing motivates you to look closely at life, as it lurches by and tramps around." If you have read Bird by Bird or are simply looking for another book to read, I not only recommend this book but also her book Traveling Mercies.

I know a good book when I have to have my journal and a pen close by to capture words from the book and pen them into my own journal to keep for my own. There were few times in my reading this book that I didn't have at least a few of Anne's words to pen into my journal. Many of the words that I borrowed from Anne spoke to the responsibility of a writers words, of the need to seek into your own shadows and write of life experiences. She writes, "you cannot write out of someone else's big dark space; you can only write out of your own."

Today as I gave back this small book full of wisdom and inspiration, I was a little bit sad. This is a book that I would love to have (and someday will) in my own library!