Change, Part I.

Defined by the Webster dictionary change is to alter or make different. For many of us change is an everyday reality in our lives in both sorrowful and joyful ways. Our lives are constantly being altered and we are always experiencing differences. Some larger then others. In the last three years of my life I have been shaped by changes, some dramatic while others slow and not always easy to see. I have fought change, cried because of it, and glowed in the joy of it. While it has been difficult and beautiful, each in its own moment I have learned so much from change. I want to share what I have learned about change because while in the midst of change its often easy to get discouraged and to lose sight of what is being created. Change has taken parts of me that were fearful and shaped it into courage, there have been parts of me that were angry and bitter that are still working on being shaped into forgiveness.

Families changing in numbers and shape, academia coming to an end, leaving friends and moving into a new phase in life, marriage, new jobs, all of these are some of the change that we face in life. All of these changes I have experienced in the last three years.

When things began to first shift it was like I got punched hard enough to get my breath taken away. It was painful to face the reality of what was when my family changed in shape, I had to recognize lies lived with for years and decide what I was going to do about them. This change ran into my identity and was wrestling with it to see who I was at the deepest core of my soul. I walked away bruised and bloody but knowing that my truest self was not based upon lies or broken pieces but upon the truth that I was the beloved of God. This face of change was the hardest thing I have ever faced in my life but the beautiful transformation of identity that comes from tragedy hides behind the shadow of pain.

And then there is change that soars like the peak point of music that is played by an orchestra. The change that happens when you open your heart and life to someone, when together you make a decision and commit to face life together, and then begin a life as a couple – that change is incredible. Beautiful in many moments, hard in other moments, but in the end the most life giving change I have made.

Many of us are experiencing change at this moment, even though we may not feel it. The waters may feel stagnated but I promise you they are not. Our God is the Creator God, the one who makes, shapes, and transforms us into the people He desires, people whose hearts are open and vulnerable to love. There is much change and transition in my life now, so much that it feels overwhelming but my desire is to allow the shifts that are happening to be molding a heart that is overwhelmed by love so much so that the only possible thing to do is love back.

Friends, let us feel change. The pain, the joy, the heartbreak of change leads us into the depths of being transformed by love and into His likeness.